Journal Entries

one year later

I received a notification that today is the one year anniversary of the “birth” of this blog. I remember when I created this website, I had such big plans. I was inspired to reach others with my writing, but alas, I have failed on an extreme level. Not only have I only made what? seven posts, but I also have failed to accomplish any of the goals I set when thinking about the future of this website.

So, I’m thinking of this moment as an opportunity for a resolution, much like the ones many make on the New Year. Although these goals rarely work out, it is better than nothing right? So, without further ado, I give you (but really this is more for me) my Blog Birthday Resolutions:

  1. post at least once a week!
  2. write something everyday (at least 750 words)
  3. decide on a direction to take the blog in
  4. develop my book ideas and START WRITING THE ACTUAL BOOKS
  5. share my story ideas with readers or anyone to get feedback

That’s all I can think of for now.



Journal Entries, Uncategorized

i am not a poet.

I have yet to tell a single person I know that I like writing, let alone that I want to be a writer. Not my family. Not my friends. No one. Perhaps this is a common dilemma. Perhaps not. It’s not that my family wouldn’t be supportive. Hell, they would be too supportive. I don’t really know what is preventing me from telling them. Most likely it is my crippling fear of something I care about so much being ridiculed, despite the fact every logical fiber in my being tells me that would not be the case.

I almost failed my english class last year. My teacher made my crippling fear mentioned in the previous paragraph about ten times worse to the point where I couldn’t even write a simple paper. Such a thing is very discouraging to a writer, especially since my ability to write an essay has yet to return to me. I literally cannot write for school anymore. I used to be able to whip essay after essay out in a mere couple of hours, but no longer. I believe I have only turned one essay in on time this whole year and each and every assignment has been a grueling, seemingly-impossible task that has lead me to procrastinate an extreme amount.

Most people talk about procrastination as a relatable thing that everyone does. This talk makes me quite frustrated because I procrastinate to the point where I am walking into class with nothing to turn in. And in case you were wondering, my return to this blog after a very very extended break is another form of this procrastination.

I have always wanted to put my writing out there. To have someone read and appreciate my work. Not that anyone will really appreciate this post of me venting about my problems with writing. The idea of people I actually know reading my writing is not an enjoyable thought, so, tossing these posts out there to people whose faces I will never see, people who I will never have to face, is a much more comforting idea.

Truly, I want to write a novel. I’m currently most interested in this fantasy story that I have been developing in my head recently. This blog was originally meant to be like this post, venting about my everyday life in prose, and yet when I started my first post, I found myself writing poems.

I am not a poet.

I do not even like poetry all that much. I rarely read it. when I do read it, I understand it even less. So, color me perplexed as to why my hands and mind decided to post poems on a blog that I originally intended to be a blog comprised of prose. After writing some poems, I have found myself needing to express my thoughts in a more clear and concise manner and that is how we ended up here, with this post about nothing of importance to anyone but myself.

That’s all for now.

– IB

Poetry, Uncategorized


as a child

i would feel bad for things that did not have emotions

such as letters that did not get capitalized

or numbers that were turned negative in a math problem

i had to push such feelings aside to succeed in school

and sometimes i wonder if that was the case with people too

i feel too much for too many

it is often easier to tell myself i don’t care

and push myself away from things

that i tell myself

i shouldn’t care about